Posts Tagged ‘dining’

Finally went to Go Raw Cafe yesterday. This is one of those places like Whole Foods where it’s dangerous for me to walk in, because there are so many good and interesting food items for me to buy, and it’s far too easy to spend a lot of money there. Aside from making all-raw, all-vegan dishes (with creative ingredients such as “nut cheese” — better than it sounds!), Go Raw also carries a variety of raw grocery items, including “breads” (made from sprouted seeds and soaked nuts), snacks, cookies, beverages, cooking supplies and other goodies, including a large selection of books on homeopathy, raw cooking and other health topics. Oh, and it has a salad bar, too.

I walked out spending about $40 on two prepared meals, a smoothie and a bag of  spicy “krispys” (basically, raw tortilla chips). I know that sounds like a lot of money, and believe me, it is. That’s the reason I only go to Go Raw on special occasions. A typical lunch for two would cost about $20, and while that’s not actually much more than even going to a sandwich shop (once you factor in sides and drinks), it’s probably more than most people want to, or should, spend on a normal basis. But the quality of the items Go Raw creates is so good (and the process going into making some of these items is so involved) and tasty, it’s worth it.

After getting my hair cleaned up by the always-adorable Kimberli Lopez at Tease Boutique Salon (a long drive for me, but she does such good work), I headed to the opening reception for “Drawn in the Dust,” the comic book art exhibit at UNLV’s Barrick Museum in which I have a few pages hanging. The turnout was surprisingly good. It may have helped that this was a dual reception — another show of art by UNLV faculty and students was opening just on the other side of the wall from our show — but there were definitely a bulk of people over the two hours who came specifically to see our silly little comic drawings. I had a great time seeing new and old faces and comparing notes with other artists about our respective processes. It’s still a little weird for an industry veteran like Deryl Skelton (who’s worked on dozens of titles over the last few decades, including a great 1990s run on Star Trek: The Next Generation for DC) to consider me a peer — and an honor to be his editor on Tales from the Boneyard — but it’s also a nice feeling. I shot some video of the event last night, but I’m not sure how the audio came out, so we’ll see if something actually turns up.

After that, I headed downtown to the El Cortez for Vegas Seven‘s “The Tell.” When I was talking to host Dayvid Figler a few nights ago at another event, he described the ballroom space in the El Cortez to me, explaining that it used to be a buffet, so there were still buffet bars lining one side of the room. He noted there was seating for only about 80 or 90, between the fixed booths and the portable chairs. Well, it turns out about 200 people turned out last night. It was pretty amazing. Two hundred people on a Friday night for a storytelling event. Admittedly, it was free, and it was being heavily promoted by both Seven and the Vegas Valley Book Festival, and among the Vegas culturati, it was one of those “must-attend” events. But still, impressive. And it was great. Seven storytellers from or connected to Las Vegas sharing their experiences with cheating — whether romantically, professionally, academically or otherwise. Many drinks were purchased and consumed (none here of course!), the room was standing-room only, and most everyone seemed to really enjoy the loose, fun atmosphere. This is apparently the first in a series of such events, so look for more installments of “The Tell” in the near future.

I called it a night right after that, however. It was 11:30 p.m. by the time everything wrapped up at the El Cortez, and while my friends were very insistently asking me to go to the after-party at Downtown Cocktail Room, I just wanted to head home and sleep. I had been up since about 6:30 a.m., as I did manage to go for a run in the morning as planned — about 2.6 miles total running and walking — and I didn’t really want to be around a lot of smoke and stuff during my “detox” week. But it did bring me back to my straightedge days, when I’d hang out in bars all night drinking only Sprite and still had a good time (for the most part, when I wasn’t soberly aware of people getting obnoxiously drunk) without defiling my body as much. I was genuinely enjoying myself last night without libations, but I was still pooped nonetheless.

Geez, give me a schedule to blog, and I’ll just ramble about nothing for a while, huh? Ack.

Anyway, you came here for yesterday’s menu, didn’t you? FINE:

• Pre-run/post-run snack: Coconut creme pie Larabar
• Breakfast: One apple, one cup Dynamo juice blend
• Lunch: Caro-bana smoothie from Go Raw (carob, tahini, banana, dates)
• Supper: Two veggie wraps from Go Raw (pesto, “almond cheese,” tomato, avocado, sprouts, onions, cucumbers and carrots wrapped in collard greens)
• Dinner: Lentil and vegetable soup with three spicy “krispys” (buckwheat, chia seeds, flax seeds, oranges, yams, sunflower seeds, garlic, olive oil, basil, rosemary, Himalayan Crystal Salt, jalapeño)
• Late-night snack: Three slices pineapple
• Beverages: Water all day, plus the above-listed, and a few sips of Kombucha tea

Have to get this article for David magazine done today. For real. Tomorrow I have band practice and other nonsense, and the rest of the week will be insane prep for Long Beach Comic Con, so … yeah. See you kids later.

So here we are. It’s Christmas Eve, and I’ve survived Detox Week 2009. Actually, it wasn’t very hard, and toward the end, it became just sort-of the way things are. Some observations, in list form, because I’m lazy:

• Generally speaking, I didn’t feel altogether better than normal, but then again, I normally feel pretty good, so that’s hard to gauge.
• On the flip side, I mostly had a lot more energy. See, when you eat food that is simply processed from other foods, or you eat animals, you’re getting your energy supplies secondhand, or worse, you’re not getting them at all. Eating straight-up whole foods — natural, unprocessed fruits, veggies, etc. — gets the stuff to your body directly. I learned that sh*t in school, don’t front. Also, I wasn’t eating all the bread I normally do, and it’s obvious what starchy food does to both my appearance and my energy level (which depleted after consuming starchy white rice the other night).
• I started to notice I don’t generally eat that poorly. I just depend too much on foods with too much sauce, way too much bread and way too many processed meat substitutes.
• To answer a LOT of you who wanted to know: I have no idea how much — if any — weight I lost. I will probably check the scale when I go to the gym this weekend, so I’ll report back. Though I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t lose weight.
• Cooking every meal by hand (save for a few cans of soup) cost me a lot of time in the kitchen. Like 2 to 3 hours a night, whereas normally I’d spend maybe 30 minutes a day. But it also saved me a lot of money,likely more than $100 a week by not eating out, stopping at Starbucks, etc.

And, thus, here are my take-aways from eschewing all but fruits, veggies, seeds, nuts and beans for 10 days:

• I’m going to eat out less and cook more. Make the eating out more of a treat, and being more conscientious when I do. Or enjoy it more. Either way.
• Daily Clif Bars are giving way to raw food snacks such as Pure or Larabar. Sorry, Clif. We’ll save you for special treats and hiking trips.
• I have to go to the gym more than once every two weeks. Have to. There are always distractions and excuses, but it’s intolerable. My body is just a wreck otherwise — my back hurts, my posture sinks, it’s just not good.
• Coffee cake from Starbucks is NOT a valid breakfast.
• I’m not going to stop eating veggie “meats” completely, but seriously, veggie sausage for breakfast, veggie turkey for lunch and faux chicken nuggets for dinner is not only texturized vegetable protein overload, it defeats the purpose.
• I’m probably going to do a completely raw day once a month. Probably definitely.
• More experimentation in the kitchen — basically, if there is a dish I find I like at a restaurant, there’s no reason I shouldn’t try to make it myself. I have more control over the ingredients, and will save dough in the long term (and maybe host an awesome dinner party where I can dazzle guests).

I guess that’s about it. Last night I prepared the topping for my world-famous bruschetta (WORLD FAMOUS), which I’ll be serving at our annual Christmas Eve gathering tonight, along with veggie samosas, hummus, non-homemade salsa, etc. All pretty mild re-entries to non-asceticism. And, so, here is your final Detox Week menu, from yesterday:

• Breakfast: 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 cup orange juice
• Morning snack: 1 chocolate brownie Pure raw food bar
• Lunch: 1 can Trader Joe’s lentil & vegetable soup
• Afternoon snack: 3 to 4 dried, unsweetened pineapple rings, a handful of mixed raw nuts
• Dinner: We actually went out, to Sweet Tomatoes. I had a salad (romaine, celery, carrots, cucumber, cauliflower, sunflower seeds, bell peppers) with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, a baked potato with onions and chives, and tomato-potato soup (in vegetable broth with spinach)
• Evening snack: 2 small stalks celery with organic peanut butter

Happy holidays, everyone. And thanks for your support.

Things seem to be getting easier. While I’m still mildly hungry most of the time, Friday went a lot better than Thursday, at least as far as the detox went. It probably helped that I spent $35 at Go Raw Cafe on lunch for a few days, snacks and a smoothie. Seriously, their food is awesome, all raw, all vegan, all natural and creatively arranged in ways you would never expect to taste so amazing, but it is. Even if you think the idea of a raw “pizza” or “pasta” made only with veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds sounds gross, TRY IT. You’d be surprised what you can do with a little soaked almonds or rolled oats.

However, what did suck yesterday was my left eye, which has been kind of tender all week, but Friday morning I woke up with that eyelid a bit swollen. Thankfully, my eye doctor’s office got me in within an hour of calling. Turns out I had the beginning of a sty, caused by a blockage in any one of the 50 glands in our eyelids that produce the eye’s self-cleaning fluid. The doctor relived some of the pressure with a needle — and if you’ve never had a needle poked at your eye, I don’t recommend trying it — and sent me off with instructions to do a warm compress for 10-15 minutes each day. I did that last night, and the left eye seems to be better today, though I’m eschewing wearing my contacts for a while until it’s 100 percent. So, as my friend Mark pointed out at band practice today, I will continue looking like a ’60s college professor for a while longer.

Last night’s 10-year reunion of The Three Wise Guys (Geoff Carter, Gregory Crosby and Dayvid Figler) at the Griffin went pretty well. A huge crowd turned out to fill the bar’s back room, where Geoff read from his forthcoming novel, Gregory reminded us why his words are inscribed on the Poetry Bridge downtown, and Dayvid told a funny, touching and heartbreaking tale of his father’s final day on Christmas last year. It was great to see so many people who I hadn’t seen all together in almost 15 years in one room — and shockingly, we all seem to be relatively healthy and possibly better-looking than we were then. It was an honor to serve as the emcee for the event, even if I forgot to make proper announcements and my shtick was a little weak.

Today, Mark and I jammed with a potential new bass player for As Yet Unbroken. Our singer not being available, I had to “sing” while playing drums to set the timing of the songs. It was pretty disastrous. But the bassist is solid, has great gear, and seems like a swell guy, so hopefully we didn’t scare him off.

That’s all to report thus far. I have some comic business to take care of around here, and maybe a nap before heading to my pal Scott’s house to play Rock Band — sober. We’ll see how that goes.

Here’s yesterday’s menu, to the best of my memory:

• Breakfast: 1 small caro-bana smoothie from Go Raw (banana, carob, dates, tahini)
• Lunch: 1 half-order veggie wraps from Go Raw (pesto, almond “cheese”, tomato, sprouts, onions, cucumbers and carrots wrapped in collard greens) with their house slaw
• Afternoon snack: 1 piece raw “fudge” (I think these are mostly rolled oats, honey and carob — and they are the most awesome things ever)
• Dinner: 1 bowl homemade vegetable stew
• Evening snack: 1 piece raw “fudge” (couldn’t help myself), 1 gala apple, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend
• Beverages: Aside from the aforementioned stuff, just water, except for a few ounces of Naked “Super Food” juice blend

Earlier today was pretty rough. I think after three full days, today my body realized something is up. Nothing bad happened or anything — I’ve just become acutely aware of being hungry all the time. It’s different from my normal hungry, where psychologically I can satiate myself by going “hey, there’s a sandwich around the corner.” It’s more a dull, constant tingling permeating my very being. It got better after I made dinner, but still …

That led me to ponder a possibly disastrous and ironic side-effect of this whole process that could be a possibility once Detox Week ends on Christmas Eve. What if my body adjusts itself to my new, lower caloric intake by then, slowing down my metabolism to burn through less fuel over longer time? I mean, I’m no nutritionist or physician, but I’m pretty sure something like that isn’t out of the realm of possibility, which means I could very well not only gain weight a week or two after adding breads and whatnot back into my diet, but possibly put myself on the road to weight problems. Sure, I’ll be back at the gym full-on, but what if that’s not enough?

Of course, given my 33 years of non-fat-assedness as proof to the contrary, I shouldn’t worry. But forcing my body to go from eating relatively rich foods every few hours to eating nothing but fruits and veggies with less frequency has to be doing something, right? I guess we’ll just wait and see.

Given the weekend I have ahead, in which a lot of work has to get done as well as a moderate amount of unavoidable (and needed) play, I have to wonder whether I’ll hit a breaking point and give up, or push through past the “withdrawal.” I already planned to begin incorporating whole grain rice into my meals beginning Monday, to begin easing the transition back to “normal.” Hopefully that will be good enough, and there won’t be a mad dash on a Domino’s before then.

So there’s that. In the meantime, here’s the usual daily meal log:

• Breakfast: 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend
• Morning snack: 1 Apple Pie Larabar
• Lunch: A decently-sized salad — lettuce, tomato, carrot, celery and green bell pepper — lightly mixed with about an ounce of Bragg’s Liquid Amino and some sunflower seeds
• Afternoon snack: 1 navel orange
• Throughout day: Mixed raw nuts
• Dinner: Two small, white boiled potatoes with carrots, broccoli and cauliflower steamed in homemade vegetable broth.
• Beverages: Mostly water, as usual, save for an ounce or two each of Trader Joe’s “Green Protein,” a few ounces of Kombucha tea, and one serving of Trader Joe’s “Green Protein.”

This will be a MUCH shorter update than the previous day’s, as I’m, you know, busy and stuff. But keeping track of my progress during Detox Week (+ 3 Days) is as much incentive for posting this as is annoying you fine people.

Yesterday proved that Monday wasn’t a fluke — though I salivated at every mention of bread, cookies or any other of the forbidden foods this week, the continued consumption of only fruits and veggies went very well. My legendary appetite — and anyone following me on Twitter should know I get hungry about every five minutes — seems to be dying down, though not without a fight. But I think that’s another unexpected benefit I’ll get out of this process — maybe getting to the point I won’t have to eat quite so voraciously.

Don’t get me wrong — it’s not like I’m some 300-pound glutton. Or even a 200-pound glutton. I do have a very fast metabolism, and that is a blessed thing I don’t want to throw off too much. I’m sure it’s what’s kept me relatively thin most of my life. But I’m sure part of my constant hunger is the consumption of foods that aren’t really digesting properly, eating non-whole foods that are mostly useless calories and not rich in nutrients. I think that is a major paradigm shift to which I’ll have to adjust.

Oh, geez, I went off on a rant again, didn’t I? DAMN IT. OK, well, let me run down Tuesday’s meals, and then we’ll wrap up this thing:

• Breakfast: 1 banana, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend (calcium fortified)
• Morning snack: 1 Larabar, Lemon flavor (raw/vegan/organic)
• Lunch: 1 bowl of homemade vegetable stew (should I post the recipe?)
• Afternoon snack: 1 navel orange
• Throughout day: Approx. 2 handfuls various raw nuts & seeds
• Dinner: 2 medium-sized potatoes, boiled + approx. 1 cup broccoli and cauliflower
• Beverages: Again, mostly water all day, except for the aforementioned Dynamo, a shot of Kombucha tea, and about a few ounces of Naked Super Food juice blend.

Dinner last night was really good. I mean, so was the stew. But remember that homemade vegetable stock I made? I used that to steam the broccoli and cauliflower, and then used it as a butter substitute with the potatoes. AND IT WAS AMAZING. I intend to start making this simple veggie stock once a week, and keep it around for things like rice, veggies, homemade soups — I’m super excited about the possibilities. And it takes almost no effort. The vegetable stock was made, literally, with scraps left over from chopping veggies for the stew Monday night. I just threw them in about a gallon of boiling water, added some salt, pepper and spices, some fresh garlic cloves, and just let it simmer for about two hours before straining into a bowl. That’s it!

Anyway, we’re actually on Day Three now, and it should be interesting. Supposed to go out to lunch for a friend’s birthday, so we’ll see if I can actually order food within my restrictions from a restaurant. Check back later!

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, it’s Detox Week around here. As explained in ridiculous depth in this post, I’m eschewing bread, pasta, alcohol, soda, animal products and just about anything that isn’t a fruit, vegetable, legume, nut or mineral from now until Christmas Eve. It’s 11:19 p.m. on Monday night, which means I’ve officially survived Day One without getting tired, cranky or killing anyone. YAY ME!

Yum factor = 7/10.

OK, to be fair, as I’ve been a vegetarian for many years now, it’s not a total stretch for me to switch to a hardcore vegan diet. Beyond vegan, actually, because with the exception of a bowl of soup tonight, I did nothing but raw, organic food all day. But my typical daily consumption consists of multiple servings of breads, meat substitutes, processed soy products such as tofu, stuff made with eggs, and when I’m being bad — which has been too much lately — more cheese than either my doctor or my ass wants me to have. So yes, Detox Week is a challenge. But instead of feeling deprived, I feel like a whole world I forgot about has been reintroduced to me.

See, when I was a kid, I loved experimenting in the kitchen. From a really young age, I would make my own salad dressings and sauces, mixing up whatever ingredients I could find in our kitchen. And I LOVED vegetables. Why do you think I was making salad dressings? To put on salads! But I also just enjoyed crisp carrots, celery (maybe with peanut butter), cauliflower, bell peppers, even raw potatoes with a hint of salt. I attribute my strong and healthy teeth and general good health (as well as my relative thinness until recently) to my early dedication to veggies. Sure, I enjoyed tacos and pizzas and Kit-Kat bars just like every other kid in America. But I probably just balanced it better without parental enforcement.

Bitch, I made this!

But the strange thing is that over the years, even as I stopped eating meat products one by one (first beef and pork, then poultry and fish), I didn’t really increase my intake of veggies. I was — as are many vegetarian friends I know — bad vegetarian. I relied heavily on starch and fat, and I hadn’t yet discovered the awesomeness of vegetarian-friendly food cultures such as Mediterranean, Thai and Indian. Eventually, I fixed that, thanks to the influence of others. And after some bouts back and forth, I came out on the other side as a good vegetarian. I learned to make balanced dishes with fresh ingredients at home, developing a shopping regimen that pretty much continues to this day. Pretty much I say, because as mentioned yesterday, my intense work schedule and packed calendar requires me to rely more heavily on prepared meals, frozen foods and eating out more often than either my wallet or stomach care for. You know how it is — it’s so easy to presume that preparing fresh food takes too much time, or is too much of a hassle.

Well, yeah, it takes time. But it’s not a hassle. Around Casa Awesome, I do 95 percent of the cooking anyway. And it’s not just because Sara doesn’t cook (well …). It’s because I enjoy doing it. I like having an excuse to do something more than just put together a sandwich or throw some veggie nuggets into the oven. Even making a simple pasta dish this weekend, I remarked aloud how much I enjoy just being in the kitchen. And tonight I did two new things in the kitchen: I made both a vegetable stew and a vegetable stock — not difficult or groundbreaking items by any means, but for me, it was awesome to create something more than just the sum of its parts. I was absolutely giddy at the smell filling the house as the stew simmered. And I nearly took a photo of the vegetable stock after I poured it through the strainer into its glass container, I was so proud that I made it.

So Day One went well is what I’m trying to say, I guess. I’m quite looking forward to actually eating the stew tomorrow, and experimenting with the stock tomorrow night in some new dish. Because I know some of you asked or were curious, here’s the rundown (approximately) of my consumption today:

• Breakfast: Approx. 1 Fuji apple, 1 banana (both sliced)
• Morning snack: 1 Coconut Creme Larabar (raw/vegan/organic)
• Lunch: Approx. 2 carrots, 1 bell pepper, 2 stalks celery (all sliced) with maybe a teaspoon of Bragg’s Amino Acids
• Afternoon snack: 1 navel orange, sliced
• Throughout day: Approx. 2 handfuls of raw sunflower nut meats
• Dinner: 1 can Amy’s Organic Lentil Vegetable soup (sooooo good!!)
• Beverages: Just water all day, except for about a quarter serving of Kombucha tea and about a half serving of Trader Joe’s Green Protein drink

Thanks again to everyone for your comments and support, and I’ll check back tomorrow with a hopefully less wordy post. Excelsior!

I’ve been wavering on the naming of this event for a few weeks. First it was RawWeek, then WholeFoods week, and now … well, we’re going with Detox Week, because even though it sounds like I’m going cold turkey from heroin addiction or something, saying “raw” or “vegan” or whatever is limiting and/or inaccurate.

What the hell am I talking about?

A few weeks ago, someone I follow on Twitter — gawd, don’t ask me who — mentioned he’d lost 20 pounds in two weeks (or a month? I don’t recall) eating only fruits and vegetables. This isn’t a revelation or anything, but it got me thinking about how I’ve let my eating and exercise habits slide due to stress, overworking and things like holidays and vacations. As most people should know, I’ve been a vegetarian for most of my adult life. I did veer into fish consumption for about 18 months, but whether or not I’ll return to that remains to be seen. A little more than a year ago, I visited a doctor to look into some abdominal pain I was having and it was discovered I had really high, bad cholesterol, as well as high triglycerides and a fatty liver. Remember, I’d been vegetarian for at least 7 years at this point.

So I had to cut out anything high in cholesterol or fat. In my case, that was mostly cheese and egg products. And I had to get back to the gym. I’ve been an on-and-off-again gym member, going through alternating periods of high attendance and non-attendance. When I was working multiple jobs and going to school, it wasn’t so much of a problem, as I was on my feet and running around a lot. But most of my work now is sedentary, and apparently the combo of eating French toast three days a week plus not going to the gym in almost a year had done me in. My doctor put me on cholesterol-reducing meds, the aforementioned no-cholesterol, low-fat diet, and an increased exercise regimen. All of which — aside from the pills, which I’ve never had to take for anything in my life — was fine by me, especially since the other discovery at the first doctor’s visit was that my weight was approaching 190 pounds — about 30 more than my highest average.

I re-upped my gym membership, started going there three days a week, began to actually read the labels of the food I was buying, and slowly but surely, the pain dissipated (no one ever did pin down what was casuing it, even after MRIs and ultrasounds — likely, it was something muscular) and the weight started coming off. After three months, my cholesterol came down from a total of 235 to 115, and after another three months, my doctor took me off the pills.

Then I got busy. Or lazy. Or cocky. I started eating the occasional grilled cheese sandwich or egg omelet as a “treat.” Or because I was drinking and needed “absorption food” (alcohol consumption is a topic for a whole other blog post). Three-days-a-week at the gym went down to two, and then one, and then as life spiraled out of control, a visit once in two weeks was an accomplishment. I haven’t weighed myself or been to the doctor since, but I’m pretty sure things aren’t looking too good. Even that slight twinge of pain comes back every so often.

So, inspired by Twitter Guy Who Lost 20 Pounds Eating Only Fruits and Vegetables, I decided I’d take 10 days to make a drastic kick-start for my body’s health happen by following a similar regimen. Wedged between a weekend full of debaucherous parties and events and Christmas Ever, Detox Week 2009 will commence the morning of Monday, Dec. 14 and run through the evening of Thursday, Dec. 24. Yes, that’s more than a week. But “Detox 10 Days 2009″ sounds stupid. I at first contemplated going fully raw, but given my workload and lack of proper tools or time, I wouldn’t be able to do that fully effectively. Then I thought, oh, just vegan, but that could include things like bread and pasta, and I wanted to stay away from that stuff. So I’m creating a custom eating regimen for myself that holds mostly true to a whole foods diet, leaning more heavily on the raw side. The basic guidelines (and these are just guidelines — the most important thing is to listen to my body):

• No processed foods
• No dairy, no bread, no pasta
• No soda or alcohol
• Obviously, no meat or animal products — including eggs and foods made with eggs
• Only eating combinations of vegetables, fruits, nuts and legumes, organic and raw whenever possible

I went shopping for the first few days tonight at Sunflower Market, stocking up on a bunch of fruits and veggies, raw nuts/seeds, fermented drinks (a staple of whole foods diets), raw snacks, juices and for special occasions, a few vegetable-lentil soups. Almost everything I bought was organic, and surprisingly, did not cost more than my normal grocery list of processed meat substitutes, frozen meals and salty snacks.

I’m very excited to rediscover the joy of just eating what comes naturally and experimenting with different combinations of foods. I’m sure the first few days will be difficult, especially as I’m used to eating a lot of breads and cereals. But I think the end result will be worth it. So stay tuned as I attempt to document my progress during Detox Week 2009, and if anyone has any constructive feedback, I welcome it, though I won’t promise to actually pay attention to it.