Bleeding Neon

Choose Your Own (Bleeding Neon) Adventure Week continues, as I tackle another reader-submitted topic. To be honest, I’m not sure if this came in response to my call for topics or if it was just tossed out on Twitter much as other random questions are usually thrown my way, but because it’s something I get asked about often, I figured I’d address it. So Keith O’Neil of New Hampshire asks “any certain authors influence your writing style?”

Well, Keith, here’s the thing: Writers are hacks. They get paid — most just barely, some over-extravagantly — to make themselves appear smarter, more informed or more clever than you. That’s not cool. I mean, sure, they might be all creative or investigative or enlightened and stuff, but why do they have to go and throw it in our faces? Even worse, they expect us to buy their stupid books and magazines and comics and…

Just kidding. But seriously, I can’t pinpoint any specific writers as “influences.” I think we are all sum reflections of that which came before us, that to which we’ve been exposed our entire lives. In both my journalistic and creative writing efforts, my writing is surely as much informed by the last episode of The West Wing I watched as it is by a Fantastic Four comic I read when I was 9.

I don’t tend to be a follower of a particular writer in any genre, I don’t read books, and I have limited patience for lengthy magazine articles and prefer my news read to me while driving. So … that about sums it up.

Check back soon tomorrow as we wrap up Choose Your Own (Bleeding Neon) Adventure Week, and if you have a topic you’re just dying for me to cover in this here blog, drop me a comment, tweet or e-mail. If I have enough overflow suggestions, I may just do this again. If you choose.

As announced yesterday, it’s Choose Your Own (Bleeding Neon) Adventure Week here at, um, Bleeding Neon. I received a few suggestions yesterday from the geekosphere, but I can certainly use more, so feel free to hit me up in the comments below, on Twitter, or via old-fashioned e-mail.

First up is a topic proposed by Gordon Dymowski of Blog This, Pal!, who asked me on Twitter to write about “fun things you can do with cardboard.” Well, Gordo, just remember, you asked for it, and as I am a child of the 1980s, cardboard is quite prominent in my upbringing. And it’s totally not because I was raised by homeless bums. Really!

• First and foremost, and perhaps most dearest to my heart, breakdancing. Whenever I see cardboard on the floor, that’s always the first thing that comes to mind. I can’t help it. I grew up surrounded by a culture intent on capitalizing on the b-boys and b-girls by crafting fine cinematic diversions such as “Breakin’” and, um, “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.” So yeah.
• Building forts, spaceships, castles, other imaginary domiciles. OK, so there are real people who HAVE to live in cardboard boxes out there. I get it. I’m sorry for your situation. But let’s face facts: When mom and dad brought home a new washer, dryer or — the holy grail of all cardboard boxes — refrigerator, it was ON. Playtime had begun. I could spend hours arranging cardboard boxes in various configurations to enable my overactive imagination. To this day, if a cardboard box appears in my house, I instantly stick my dogs inside to allow them the same joys I experienced as a child (they don’t seem to be as amused). When I have children, I will likely do the same. Go ahead and put Child Protective Services on speed dial now.
• Weapons: Chinese throwing stars cut from notepad backing boards. Swords derived from wrapping paper tubes. Nunchaku comprised of paper towel rolls and string. The possibilities are endless. And have you ever gotten a cardboard cut? YOW.
• A bed: I mean, even if you’re not homeless, you may be a weird little Pekingese dog that likes sleeping on cardboard.
• Cardboard robots. ‘Nuff said.
  

While I still sort out my brain from the blur that was the last week (about which I will undoubtedly spill here soon), I have come up with a mildly brilliant, completely unoriginal idea for making this blog a bit more interactive while forcing me to write about something. So begins:

CHOOSE YOUR OWN (BLEEDING NEON) ADVENTURE WEEK

Here’s how it works: You give me a topic, any topic, and I’ll blog about it. I’m not saying what I write will be intelligent, informed or otherwise worth reading, but it’ll somehow be related to your topic. You are in control, dear reader. It’s like “Whose Line is It, Anyway?” without Greg Proops.

So leave your topic of interest in the comments below, tweet it to me on Twitter, or e-mail it to me directly. Let’s do this.