Bleeding Neon

So it seems the weird, buzzing feeling in my head that accompanied my constant hunger during the first four days of Detox Week has gone away. I didn’t notice it was gone because, um, it wasn’t there, but then I thought about it this morning and, well, noticed its absence. I’m still a bit hungry most of the time, but not as noticeably so as the first half of this 10-day experiment. Which, again, may be good, and may be bad. It may mean my body’s adjusting to the reduced calorie consumption; it may just mean that psychologically I’m adjusting to it. I don’t know. I still am eating with the same frequency as I normally do, but the food is less calorie-rich and not full of extra carbs, sugars, etc.

Of course, there were fresh-baked cookies and pizza at the little Rock Band party I attended last night, mocking me with their respective sugary and cheesy tastiness. I just drank water. And played Rock Band sober for perhaps the first time ever. And … it was still fun, and I still danced around like a fool and made silly RAWK faces anyway. Go figure.

I have a mess of work to do today, including this lengthy music feature I’ve been putting off, next week’s Utopian strips and some final assembly work on the first issue of Omega Comics Presents. And maybe some final Christmas shopping. We’ll see. In the meantime, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: Yesterday’s food selections:

• Breakfast: 1 banana + 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend
• Morning snack: Mixed raw nuts
• Lunch: 1 half-order traditional “pizza” from Go Raw Cafe (almond “cheese,” basil pesto and marinara sauce with veggies and walnut “sausage” on raw, sprouted buckwheat crust)
• Dinner: Two small, while potatoes, boiled, and chopped carrots, celery and broccoli, steamed in homemade vegetable stock
• Late-night snack: 1 piece “fudge” from Go Raw (rolled oats, honey, sunflower seeds, carob)
• Beverages: A lot of water, plus an ounce or so of Naked “Super Food”

Things seem to be getting easier. While I’m still mildly hungry most of the time, Friday went a lot better than Thursday, at least as far as the detox went. It probably helped that I spent $35 at Go Raw Cafe on lunch for a few days, snacks and a smoothie. Seriously, their food is awesome, all raw, all vegan, all natural and creatively arranged in ways you would never expect to taste so amazing, but it is. Even if you think the idea of a raw “pizza” or “pasta” made only with veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds sounds gross, TRY IT. You’d be surprised what you can do with a little soaked almonds or rolled oats.

However, what did suck yesterday was my left eye, which has been kind of tender all week, but Friday morning I woke up with that eyelid a bit swollen. Thankfully, my eye doctor’s office got me in within an hour of calling. Turns out I had the beginning of a sty, caused by a blockage in any one of the 50 glands in our eyelids that produce the eye’s self-cleaning fluid. The doctor relived some of the pressure with a needle — and if you’ve never had a needle poked at your eye, I don’t recommend trying it — and sent me off with instructions to do a warm compress for 10-15 minutes each day. I did that last night, and the left eye seems to be better today, though I’m eschewing wearing my contacts for a while until it’s 100 percent. So, as my friend Mark pointed out at band practice today, I will continue looking like a ’60s college professor for a while longer.

Last night’s 10-year reunion of The Three Wise Guys (Geoff Carter, Gregory Crosby and Dayvid Figler) at the Griffin went pretty well. A huge crowd turned out to fill the bar’s back room, where Geoff read from his forthcoming novel, Gregory reminded us why his words are inscribed on the Poetry Bridge downtown, and Dayvid told a funny, touching and heartbreaking tale of his father’s final day on Christmas last year. It was great to see so many people who I hadn’t seen all together in almost 15 years in one room — and shockingly, we all seem to be relatively healthy and possibly better-looking than we were then. It was an honor to serve as the emcee for the event, even if I forgot to make proper announcements and my shtick was a little weak.

Today, Mark and I jammed with a potential new bass player for As Yet Unbroken. Our singer not being available, I had to “sing” while playing drums to set the timing of the songs. It was pretty disastrous. But the bassist is solid, has great gear, and seems like a swell guy, so hopefully we didn’t scare him off.

That’s all to report thus far. I have some comic business to take care of around here, and maybe a nap before heading to my pal Scott’s house to play Rock Band — sober. We’ll see how that goes.

Here’s yesterday’s menu, to the best of my memory:

• Breakfast: 1 small caro-bana smoothie from Go Raw (banana, carob, dates, tahini)
• Lunch: 1 half-order veggie wraps from Go Raw (pesto, almond “cheese”, tomato, sprouts, onions, cucumbers and carrots wrapped in collard greens) with their house slaw
• Afternoon snack: 1 piece raw “fudge” (I think these are mostly rolled oats, honey and carob — and they are the most awesome things ever)
• Dinner: 1 bowl homemade vegetable stew
• Evening snack: 1 piece raw “fudge” (couldn’t help myself), 1 gala apple, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend
• Beverages: Aside from the aforementioned stuff, just water, except for a few ounces of Naked “Super Food” juice blend

Earlier today was pretty rough. I think after three full days, today my body realized something is up. Nothing bad happened or anything — I’ve just become acutely aware of being hungry all the time. It’s different from my normal hungry, where psychologically I can satiate myself by going “hey, there’s a sandwich around the corner.” It’s more a dull, constant tingling permeating my very being. It got better after I made dinner, but still …

That led me to ponder a possibly disastrous and ironic side-effect of this whole process that could be a possibility once Detox Week ends on Christmas Eve. What if my body adjusts itself to my new, lower caloric intake by then, slowing down my metabolism to burn through less fuel over longer time? I mean, I’m no nutritionist or physician, but I’m pretty sure something like that isn’t out of the realm of possibility, which means I could very well not only gain weight a week or two after adding breads and whatnot back into my diet, but possibly put myself on the road to weight problems. Sure, I’ll be back at the gym full-on, but what if that’s not enough?

Of course, given my 33 years of non-fat-assedness as proof to the contrary, I shouldn’t worry. But forcing my body to go from eating relatively rich foods every few hours to eating nothing but fruits and veggies with less frequency has to be doing something, right? I guess we’ll just wait and see.

Given the weekend I have ahead, in which a lot of work has to get done as well as a moderate amount of unavoidable (and needed) play, I have to wonder whether I’ll hit a breaking point and give up, or push through past the “withdrawal.” I already planned to begin incorporating whole grain rice into my meals beginning Monday, to begin easing the transition back to “normal.” Hopefully that will be good enough, and there won’t be a mad dash on a Domino’s before then.

So there’s that. In the meantime, here’s the usual daily meal log:

• Breakfast: 1 apple, 1 banana, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend
• Morning snack: 1 Apple Pie Larabar
• Lunch: A decently-sized salad — lettuce, tomato, carrot, celery and green bell pepper — lightly mixed with about an ounce of Bragg’s Liquid Amino and some sunflower seeds
• Afternoon snack: 1 navel orange
• Throughout day: Mixed raw nuts
• Dinner: Two small, white boiled potatoes with carrots, broccoli and cauliflower steamed in homemade vegetable broth.
• Beverages: Mostly water, as usual, save for an ounce or two each of Trader Joe’s “Green Protein,” a few ounces of Kombucha tea, and one serving of Trader Joe’s “Green Protein.”

Not much to report about yesterday — and yes, that means you won’t have to read 600 words today. I didn’t end up going out to lunch. I don’t think I would have been much fun, nor had much fun watching a bunch of people eat stuff like bread and pasta. In theory, I could have ordered a plain salad, maybe with just oil and vinegar, but … I think it was better I didn’t.

We also put up our Christmas tree last night, a ritual which would have normally been commemorated with egg nog, hot chocolate, liquor and cookies or whatever. But while the girls indulged in cocoa, I obviously abstained. The tree got put up just fine, but I really kind of feel like a dud.

Tomorrow should be interesting. At the Griffin in downtown Las Vegas, three of my old (heh, old) pals, Geoff Carter, Gregory Crosby and Dayvid Figler, are bringing back their infamous holiday-themed spoken word nonsense known as “Three Wise Guys” for one night only. All fine poets (some finer than others), Carter, Crosby and Figler performed as “Three Wise Guys” from 1995 to 1999, so this would make this the 10th anniversary of the final performance. It’s kind of a *thing* for us Vegas culturistas, especially because Carter and Crosby have lived in far-off lands (Seattle and New York, respectively) for quite a few years now. Allegedly, I’m to be emceeing this shindig, at a bar, without drinking. In the midst of Detox Week. So, that should be good, right? It all goes down at 7 p.m. if you want to come by. And you should. Hopefully I won’t feel like a dud then, too.

And that’s about that. My band may or may not be auditioning a new bass player this weekend, so you may hear about that. Or not. But you kids are here for the Detox Week madness, right? So let’s look at yesterday’s menu, shall we?

• Breakfast: 1 banana, 1 apple, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend
• Morning snack: 1 peanut butter cookie Larabar (nom nom nom)
• Lunch: 1 bowl homemade vegetable stew (all gone now)
• Throughout day: A few handfuls of raw sunflower meats
• Dinner: 1 can Amy’s Organic Lentil Vegetable soup (I can’t get enough!)
• Beverages: Water all day, plus about a few ounces each of Trader Joe’s “Green Protein” juice blend and Naked “Super Food” juice blend.

That was a pretty light day, looking back. I don’t expect today to be much heavier though. Tomorrow, I’m considering treating myself to a trip to Go Raw, a tasty vegan/raw cafe. Haven’t been there in a few years — it should be good.

This will be a MUCH shorter update than the previous day’s, as I’m, you know, busy and stuff. But keeping track of my progress during Detox Week (+ 3 Days) is as much incentive for posting this as is annoying you fine people.

Yesterday proved that Monday wasn’t a fluke — though I salivated at every mention of bread, cookies or any other of the forbidden foods this week, the continued consumption of only fruits and veggies went very well. My legendary appetite — and anyone following me on Twitter should know I get hungry about every five minutes — seems to be dying down, though not without a fight. But I think that’s another unexpected benefit I’ll get out of this process — maybe getting to the point I won’t have to eat quite so voraciously.

Don’t get me wrong — it’s not like I’m some 300-pound glutton. Or even a 200-pound glutton. I do have a very fast metabolism, and that is a blessed thing I don’t want to throw off too much. I’m sure it’s what’s kept me relatively thin most of my life. But I’m sure part of my constant hunger is the consumption of foods that aren’t really digesting properly, eating non-whole foods that are mostly useless calories and not rich in nutrients. I think that is a major paradigm shift to which I’ll have to adjust.

Oh, geez, I went off on a rant again, didn’t I? DAMN IT. OK, well, let me run down Tuesday’s meals, and then we’ll wrap up this thing:

• Breakfast: 1 banana, 1 cup “Dynamo” juice blend (calcium fortified)
• Morning snack: 1 Larabar, Lemon flavor (raw/vegan/organic)
• Lunch: 1 bowl of homemade vegetable stew (should I post the recipe?)
• Afternoon snack: 1 navel orange
• Throughout day: Approx. 2 handfuls various raw nuts & seeds
• Dinner: 2 medium-sized potatoes, boiled + approx. 1 cup broccoli and cauliflower
• Beverages: Again, mostly water all day, except for the aforementioned Dynamo, a shot of Kombucha tea, and about a few ounces of Naked Super Food juice blend.

Dinner last night was really good. I mean, so was the stew. But remember that homemade vegetable stock I made? I used that to steam the broccoli and cauliflower, and then used it as a butter substitute with the potatoes. AND IT WAS AMAZING. I intend to start making this simple veggie stock once a week, and keep it around for things like rice, veggies, homemade soups — I’m super excited about the possibilities. And it takes almost no effort. The vegetable stock was made, literally, with scraps left over from chopping veggies for the stew Monday night. I just threw them in about a gallon of boiling water, added some salt, pepper and spices, some fresh garlic cloves, and just let it simmer for about two hours before straining into a bowl. That’s it!

Anyway, we’re actually on Day Three now, and it should be interesting. Supposed to go out to lunch for a friend’s birthday, so we’ll see if I can actually order food within my restrictions from a restaurant. Check back later!